Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize