i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
