it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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