Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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