There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
