i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
