im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I look better un-naked...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
