2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
