She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
