Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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