she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
