im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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