My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
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