Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
