It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
