please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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