im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Apparently you make a good broom.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
