Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
