He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
