come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
