if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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