I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
