wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
