Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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