Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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