Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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