as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
