haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
