Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
