Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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