How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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