He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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