brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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