I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
