If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
