What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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