Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
