Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
