Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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