it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i wish my penis had a tongue
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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