Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize