I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
