Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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