Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
