He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
