Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I supernannyed him into submission
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
