belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have feelings that need drinking.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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