You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
