Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
