and you said cock pushups were impossible
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
