it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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