How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
