were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
