I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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