Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize