I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
