I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
