I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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