i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
