Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
