its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
did i just pee glitter
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