Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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